I am healing My deepest childhood traumas. #healing #God #gabriel #rafael #michael

The healing of my deepest repressed traumas has begun. I am revisiting my early childhood—specifically the night my mother went looking for my father; I was startled awake in bed by a thunderstorm with thunder and lightning, only to realize I was home alone. I then set out on my little bike, alone in the night, to search for my mother. People found me and took me to the police station. This experience fostered anxious patterns in my romantic relationships, as a form of abandonment anxiety crept in based on what I had gone through. Later, amidst the constant verbal warfare between my parents, a "referee" aspect emerged within me—a part that learned to step in between them because I wanted them to stop fighting. Sending self-love to those parts is something I had never done since that early childhood. That part is now trying to heal with the help of Raphael and Gabriel. This self-healing is not narcissism; it is the healing of the deepest repressed traumas. Further traumas arose later as the arguments between my parents became increasingly violent—especially when my father, driven by his own abandonment anxiety, resorted to physical violence against my mother. He later admitted he was terrified of being left alone because he loved my mother deeply and didn't know how to live without her. Because this part of me never healed, I banished my parents from my life in an attempt to suppress that aspect of myself. Now, I can relearn how to form secure connections in friendships and romantic relationships. I hadn't even realized those parts were crying out for attention. This kind of healing cannot be resolved with a pill—a quick fix that feels like "therapeutic neglect" because a pill solves nothing. Those parts require awareness, love, prayer, and meditation. I needed a team of angels—not medication, but a great deal of self-compassion, love, and understanding. I now understand that my therapists themselves struggle with unresolved traumas. As Sri Aurobindo and The Mother rightly pointed out regarding integral healing, it is God who heals—and God alone. Doctors and therapists can only heal with the help of God and Raphael; on their own, they can do nothing but provide guidance. My real diagnosis would be PTSD (post-traumatic stress syndrome) not paranoid schizophrenia. As I go through it I can start to shine a Light of love and truth on it and learn to trust again in human relationships.

Thank You G-d and angels. Miracles do exist.

kristo isa gabriel