Psychiatrists Baffled By Mental Disorder Which Only Afflicts Leaders Who Refuse To Bow To US Interests.

Editor’s note: In order to avoid online censorship for publishing dissenting narratives, today’s Caitlin Johnstone column has been replaced with a report from the National News Conglomerate, your trusted source for real news and authorized opinions. Obey.

'BREAKING: Psychiatrists around the world are baffled by an emerging mental disorder which only seems to afflict the leaders of governments that refuse to capitulate to US interests, sources in the American Psychiatric Organization (APO) reported Saturday. 

Early reports indicate that this strange new disorder, as yet unlisted in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), exclusively impacts world leaders who refuse to help the US and its growing body of client states advance American economic and geopolitical influence with their nations’ land, resources and people. Leaders who once exhibited behavior that is unremarkable for their regional, cultural and political environment suddenly transform into bloodthirsty tyrants who receive sexual gratification from the gratuitous murder of civilians as soon as their wish to retain national sovereignty becomes evident. 

“It’s the darndest thing,” APO President Dr. Lewis Rafferty told NNC earlier today. “The disorder can carry a minor genetic component, as in the case of North Korea’s leadership whose entire lineage has been afflicted with an unprecedented condition which makes them likely to nuke Hawaii without provocation at any second unless aggressively sanctioned and surrounded with a vast military arsenal. But the fundamental antecedent of the illness always appears to be a general unwillingness to give the US war machine and its allied oligarchs exactly what they want at any given moment.” 

Dr. Rafferty reports that an earlier theory had once speculated that this new mental disorder is actually the symptom of some sort of airborne virus, since it has infected the leadership of neighboring nations Iran, Iraq, and Syria.' 

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